elusive as the comet
That appears outside my window
In the room that I lock myself in
As life passes me by . . .
You are near, yet ever far.
In my mind we are together
But in reality, I catch only a fleeting shadow of you,
A phantom comet that I can never quite see
Though it is before me.
I grasp of you what I can-
A brief message, only vague conversation,
But to me as rare and as treasured as the comet.
I search you out in my own little way,
Although you will never know . . .
I am less than the phantom:
I am invisible, a silent observer,
Even as you eclipse my heart with your presence.
I could make myself known to you, but what of that?
For you are far greater than I,
And you have your own life:
You do not look upon me the way I look upon you.
Yet, there you are, as close to me as the comet is to Earth,
And I am sure that if I reached out-
Making my presence known to you-
I could grasp you as my own.
But, it is fear that stops me,
Fear of embarrassment, for to you I am something other than what you are to me.
And so you remain as elusive as the comet-
It is there, but I will not go out to gaze upon it.
I remain here, trapped within the walls I build in my mind,
As opportunity passes,
And both you and the comet will be lost to me forever
As fleeting opportunities I would not grasp.
March 23, 1997